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愛(ài)孩子 就請(qǐng)別再?gòu)?qiáng)迫他打招呼

出處：網(wǎng)絡(luò)收集日期：2025-01-06 17:16:12編輯：秩名
愛(ài)孩子，就請(qǐng)別再逼TA打招呼！
　　“打招呼”本是人際交往最常見(jiàn)的一種互動(dòng)方式。然而，當(dāng)孩子不愿打招呼的行為與“不懂事”、“不禮貌” “不乖”等指責(zé)掛鉤時(shí)，就成為了一種“語(yǔ)言暴力”，它會(huì)直接攻擊個(gè)人的自尊，讓人覺(jué)得渺小、一無(wú)是處。
 
 
　　01
 
　　今早出門(mén)，在電梯碰到這樣一幕。
 
　　A和B是鄰居，兩人碰見(jiàn)，大人之間寒暄兩句后，媽媽就對(duì)著孩子說(shuō)：“XXX，叫李阿姨啊，她就住我們家隔壁，上次你也見(jiàn)過(guò)的，還記得嗎?”
 
　　孩子沒(méi)有做聲，拉著媽媽的手一直往后躲。
 
　　A稍有些尷尬，忍不住用責(zé)備的語(yǔ)氣對(duì)孩子說(shuō)：“哎，XXX，不能這么沒(méi)禮貌啊，媽媽不是教過(guò)你嗎，見(jiàn)到熟悉的叔叔阿姨都要主動(dòng)叫人的，快，叫李阿姨好。”
 
　　她想把孩子推上前來(lái)，但孩子依舊只是靦腆地看了B一眼繼續(xù)往媽媽身邊躲著不出來(lái)。
 
　　“怎么這么不聽(tīng)話，沒(méi)有禮貌的孩子?jì)寢尶刹幌矚g……”
 
　　“沒(méi)事兒沒(méi)事兒，小孩子嘛，是有些認(rèn)生的。”為了緩解尷尬，抑或是看見(jiàn)孩子馬上要哭了的眼神，B笑著打斷了A的話。
 
　　……
 
　　02
 
　　類似的場(chǎng)景，想必我們每個(gè)人都有經(jīng)歷過(guò)，不管是到別人家做客，還是在公眾場(chǎng)合遇見(jiàn)熟人，半引導(dǎo)、半強(qiáng)迫地要求孩子打招呼的情況真的是屢見(jiàn)不鮮。
 
　　性格外向或者比較不怕生的孩子，有時(shí)候也會(huì)順著家長(zhǎng)說(shuō)聲“叔叔好、阿姨好”，但很多時(shí)候也會(huì)事與愿違，就像上面的場(chǎng)景一樣，由于各方面的因素，有些孩子就是羞于與人接觸或是打招呼。寶貝們要么“不開(kāi)口”，要么躲在父母身后、要么干脆逃走，再不然就直接委屈地大哭大鬧。
 
　　而此時(shí)，站在一旁的大人會(huì)因?yàn)閷擂?，抑或是覺(jué)得自己沒(méi)把孩子教好，忍不住開(kāi)始以責(zé)備的口吻說(shuō)著：“小孩子不可以沒(méi)禮貌、這樣子很不乖、再這樣?jì)寢尣幌矚g你了啊…”之類的話。
 
　　殊不知，這種在公眾場(chǎng)合有意或是無(wú)意間給孩子貼上的「標(biāo)簽」，當(dāng)著別人的面批評(píng)孩子不懂禮貌，其實(shí)很傷害孩子的自尊，這種「語(yǔ)言暴力」只會(huì)導(dǎo)致孩子更不喜歡與人打招呼，甚至可能給孩子造成留下心理陰影。
 
　　試想一下，如果是你在大庭廣眾下被揪出來(lái)批評(píng)會(huì)是什么感覺(jué)?逼孩子打招呼并冠之不禮貌的做法不也是一個(gè)道理么?為什么你會(huì)覺(jué)得孩子就能理所當(dāng)然的接受或者喜歡呢?
 
　　03
 
　　其實(shí)，小孩對(duì)陌生人的畏怯和害羞，是與生俱來(lái)保護(hù)自己的能力，范媽認(rèn)為這本身就是無(wú)可厚非的。家長(zhǎng)們也不應(yīng)該去苛責(zé)，尤其是在公眾場(chǎng)合。
 
　　當(dāng)然，不苛責(zé)并不代表著放縱或者不管。那么，當(dāng)孩子見(jiàn)人不愿意打招呼，家長(zhǎng)該怎么做呢?
 
　　最重要的關(guān)鍵，仍是尊重。最有效的辦法就是示范和引導(dǎo)。
 
　　1、當(dāng)孩子不愿和人打招呼，千萬(wàn)不要用“沒(méi)禮貌、你不聽(tīng)話媽媽不喜歡你了…”的言語(yǔ)去責(zé)備孩子，這會(huì)傷害孩子的自尊心，讓孩子以后見(jiàn)到不熟悉的人只會(huì)產(chǎn)生“躲”的想法;
 
　　◆應(yīng)該對(duì)他表示關(guān)懷、愛(ài)護(hù)，并且陪同他尋找方法，主動(dòng)開(kāi)口招呼人。
 
　　2、給予孩子示范和提醒，但一定不要強(qiáng)迫孩子非得在當(dāng)下打招呼。見(jiàn)到陌生人時(shí)，提醒孩子打招呼，比如“寶貝，給叔叔打個(gè)招呼吧!”
 
　　◆但是，不要期待寶寶在你的提醒后就做出具體行為，只是單純的提醒而已。孩子適應(yīng)并學(xué)會(huì)了這種人際交往后就會(huì)慢慢接受這種禮儀。
 
　　3、對(duì)于膽小羞怯的孩子要多加關(guān)心，可以使用一些技巧來(lái)幫助適應(yīng)他人與環(huán)境。
 
　　◆如事先將可能見(jiàn)到的生人的相貌、特點(diǎn)告訴孩子，并了解孩子心中的憂慮、盡可能給孩子提供一些咨詢，讓其有一定的心理準(zhǔn)備。
 
　　4、可以假扮孩子的身份，以小朋友的語(yǔ)氣跟陌生人打招呼。
 
　　◆比如“寶寶，我們跟叔叔打招呼啦，我們一起說(shuō)叔叔好!”
 
　　5、不能因?yàn)楹⒆硬辉刚泻羧硕粠Ш⒆油獬觥４笕送獬鰰r(shí)應(yīng)盡量帶著孩子，讓孩子和大人一起參與社交活動(dòng)和人際交往，并且鼓勵(lì)孩子接觸陌生的環(huán)境。
 
　　◆要注重在實(shí)踐中培養(yǎng)孩子的良好的禮貌行為習(xí)慣，而且大人要做好孩子的表率，遇到熟人或孩子不認(rèn)識(shí)的人主動(dòng)有禮貌地打招呼，然后再向孩子簡(jiǎn)單介紹，讓孩子主動(dòng)地招呼人。
 
　　6、幫助孩子樹(shù)立自信心，家長(zhǎng)應(yīng)試著去發(fā)掘孩子的獨(dú)立天賦，在陌生的環(huán)境，陌生的人面前，讓孩子自己判斷該怎么招呼陌生的人。
 
　　◆這樣做可以讓孩子在獲得成功的經(jīng)驗(yàn)時(shí)，收獲滿滿的自信心!

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