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撒謊是BB天性 越罰他越不老實

出處：網(wǎng)絡(luò)收集日期：2025-01-15 18:52:53編輯：秩名
撒謊是BB天性 越罰他越不老實
 
　　有一位媽媽跟我說過，孩子可以不聰明，但是絕不能不誠實，當(dāng)時我是舉雙手雙腳贊同的：從小是老實孩子的我，當(dāng)然也希望孩子成為那樣的人。
 
　　所以，有一天謊言從我的孩子嘴中蹦出時，我覺得整個人都不好了。不是說每個孩子都是純真的小天使嗎?怎么一夜之間就變成了狡猾的小惡魔
 
　　1、有一天，孩子學(xué)會了撒謊
 
　　事情是這樣子的，有一晚，我正催孩子睡覺呢，孩子突然捂著肚子說，“媽媽，我肚子好痛?”我有些急了，問“肚子哪里痛?有多痛?”
 
　　孩子的眼睛一直打轉(zhuǎn)，也不看我，扭著身體，說“就是痛。”
 
　　問了半天，她都不正面回應(yīng)我，我終于意識到了，她這是在撒謊呢!當(dāng)時就氣炸了，想著孩子這才幾歲，竟然就會因為不想睡覺裝肚子痛!
 
　　撒謊這事情，有了一，就會有二。隨后的一個月，我又揭穿她好幾次的謊言：
 
　　明明是她打翻了糖果盒，卻告訴我這是奶奶干的;
 
　　明明很怕冷，卻因為想在外邊繼續(xù)玩雨，告訴我她一點也不冷;
 
　　明明是鄰居家孩子的玩具，她玩了一會兒，轉(zhuǎn)身告訴我，這是她的玩具。
 
　　每次她撒謊后，我心里總在嘆氣納悶，怎么養(yǎng)了個這么可惡的姑娘，這是以后要長歪的節(jié)奏嗎?
 
　　2、撒謊不是學(xué)壞，是本能
 
　　我開始思考，是不是身邊出現(xiàn)了什么人，帶壞了孩子?但孩子最常接觸的也只有家人。
 
　　找不出原因了，那只能好好地研究下孩子的情況，看怎么對付。
 
　　問了下當(dāng)幼師的朋友，發(fā)現(xiàn)我這情況可不是獨例，她每天要應(yīng)對不少小朋友的謊言，有不少和我同病相憐的父母也都在為孩子撒謊的事情發(fā)愁。
 
　　她告訴我，孩子撒謊并不是大人所想的“變壞了”，而是出于一種本能!!
 
　　據(jù)加拿大多倫多大學(xué)兒童研究所測試，兩歲時，20%的兒童會說謊，3歲時這一數(shù)字達(dá)到50%，4歲時接近90%!
 
　　我們國人也對孩子做過調(diào)查，數(shù)據(jù)顯示大約有50%的孩子從3歲開始就會說謊，9歲的孩子中70%以上說過謊!
 
　　老實說，看到這些數(shù)據(jù)，我真的輕松了一半，至少不用太糾結(jié)自己的教育方式是不是出了大問題。
 
　　3、你們家孩子說謊都是因為這些
 
　　撒謊是件累人的活，騙人的時候內(nèi)心七上八下，忐忑又害怕，孩子究竟為什么就不能好好說話，非得撒謊呢?
 
　　幻想型撒謊
 
　　你家是否也發(fā)生過這樣的事情，明明是寶寶自己打碎東西，卻把責(zé)任推卸給旁人，還說的有模有樣。其實你家寶寶不是“有心機(jī)”，而是他還分不清現(xiàn)實與幻想的區(qū)別。他說自己沒有打碎東西，是因為他害怕面對懲罰，所以一直想象事情不是他干的，想多了小腦袋就當(dāng)真了。
 
　　父母不用過分擔(dān)憂，隨著寶寶對事物的辨別力逐漸增強(qiáng)，記憶力逐步完善之后，會停止說這類“假想謊話”。
 
　　為達(dá)到某種愿望故意撒謊
 
　　孩子喜歡吃巧克力，媽媽卻不讓他吃。于是，私下里就告訴爸爸，媽媽同意讓他吃了。這是因為孩子的物質(zhì)欲望和精神需要得不到滿足，幼小的他們不懂得克制自己的欲望，也不知道用更好的辦法讓欲望得到滿足，于是試圖用謊言達(dá)到目的。對于這種情況，爸爸媽媽們最好不要拆穿孩子，而是要教會孩子如何正確地表達(dá)自己的欲望，不讓他們依賴撒謊。
 
　　為了逃避懲罰或得到獎勵而撒謊
 
　　趨利避害是人的本性，孩子也是如此。而撒謊能幫助他們達(dá)到這些目的。做錯事情的時候，他們發(fā)現(xiàn)誠實會受到父母和旁人的批評，而撒謊卻能讓他們躲避懲罰，甚至得到人們的贊揚(yáng)，于是他們也漸漸學(xué)會了撒謊。
 
　　4、這樣引導(dǎo)，可以防止孩子撒謊
 
　　所有的孩子都會撒謊，但并不是誰長大后都會成為滿嘴謊言的騙子，這個關(guān)鍵在于父母怎么引導(dǎo)!我們可不希望孩子以后遇到點什么事，就利用謊言來逃避和推卸責(zé)任!
 
　　不要嚴(yán)厲地懲罰孩子的錯誤
 
　　有時候，是我們逼著孩子在撒謊，如果孩子一旦做錯事，我們就大發(fā)雷霆，再嚴(yán)厲地懲罰他們，那么孩子會害怕失去父母的信任，害怕嚴(yán)苛的懲罰，最后迫于壓力選擇撒謊。
 
　　要教會孩子說實話、面對現(xiàn)實并沒那么難，玻璃杯摔碎了能買新的，地板弄臟了能打掃……教會孩子怎樣處理這些問題，那么一旦犯錯了，他們知道不會因此而被父母厭惡，覺得自己可以處理，就不會選擇用說謊逃避問題。
 
　　家長少說些“善意的謊言”
 
　　《國際心理學(xué)雜志》的一項研究表明，98%的中國家長承認(rèn)對孩子撒過類似謊言。他們極力夸張，編造謊言以達(dá)到讓孩子聽話的目的。
 
　　說實在的，我們總覺得自己不說謊，其實不知道在孩子面前撒了多少謊，“再不睡覺，大灰狼就會吃掉你!”“不刷牙的孩子，牙齒會掉光光的!”隨著孩子慢慢地長大，他們會慢慢地意識到這些是謊言。再以后，你想教育孩子不撒謊，難度絕對會變大

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