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家庭親子關(guān)系不能超越夫妻關(guān)系

出處：網(wǎng)絡(luò)收集日期：2025-01-20 11:07:34編輯：秩名
夫妻關(guān)系
 
　　良好的夫妻關(guān)系，是為了白頭偕老。
 
　　而良好的親子關(guān)系，則是得體的退出，去成全孩子的相聚相守。
 
　　一個(gè)和睦幸福的家庭，無(wú)論是夫妻關(guān)系還是親子關(guān)系都是必不可少的兩個(gè)重要組成部分，夫妻關(guān)系的和睦直接是構(gòu)筑一個(gè)完整家庭的基礎(chǔ)，只有夫妻關(guān)系和睦婚姻生活美滿(mǎn)，才會(huì)有舒心圓滿(mǎn)的家庭氛圍，不想一個(gè)整天吵吵鬧鬧的家庭，一對(duì)針?shù)h相對(duì)的夫妻，一個(gè)戰(zhàn)火不斷的家庭氛圍，是不可能讓自己的家族成員有任何幸福感可言，那么這個(gè)家庭里的孩子他能有健全的心智，快樂(lè)的生活嗎?
 
 
　　一位新媽媽如果缺乏丈夫的愛(ài)，會(huì)出現(xiàn)什么情況呢?
 
　　一位媽媽這樣說(shuō)：
 
　　我寶寶剛出生時(shí)，就發(fā)生很多事，導(dǎo)致我月子里過(guò)度憂(yōu)郁，一個(gè)人帶著孩子，寶貝只喝一個(gè)月的奶水，后來(lái)自己不爭(zhēng)氣，拖著疲憊的身子帶著孩子!我的產(chǎn)后憂(yōu)郁一直延續(xù)了一年半，只有寶貝陪伴我度過(guò)那段最痛苦最難忘的時(shí)期!
 
　　我明白，我的情緒一直影響著孩子，直到她上寶寶班了我才知道我對(duì)她的傷害有多嚴(yán)重!寶貝除了和我在一起愛(ài)笑，任何人都不要，甚至不搭理和她說(shuō)話(huà)的任何人，不和小朋友玩，只待在自己的小圈子里，遇到一點(diǎn)沒(méi)有安全感的事就大喊大叫，但是她喜歡和我單獨(dú)在一起做任何事!包括胡亂畫(huà)畫(huà)，看書(shū)……
 
　　這位媽媽的如怨如訴，談的是夫妻之愛(ài)的缺乏，是如何導(dǎo)致產(chǎn)后憂(yōu)郁癥和孩子的不安全感的。
 
　　夫妻關(guān)系是家庭的第一關(guān)系
 
　　其他任何關(guān)系(比如說(shuō)父母跟孩子的關(guān)系，婆婆跟丈夫的關(guān)系，丈母娘跟妻子的關(guān)系)超越這個(gè)關(guān)系都會(huì)出問(wèn)題。無(wú)論是爸爸還是媽媽?zhuān)绻麑?duì)孩子過(guò)分的愛(ài)，其實(shí)是自己缺愛(ài)的投射。
 
　　我曾經(jīng)看到一位媽媽?zhuān)诤⒆由衔璧刚n時(shí)，她坐在場(chǎng)邊，緊緊地盯著孩子。只要孩子一做動(dòng)作，她就提醒“做標(biāo)準(zhǔn)了!小心老師罰你!”“趕緊啊，該你了!”……結(jié)果呢，孩子在場(chǎng)上既要看著老師，還要不時(shí)看著媽媽?zhuān)瑖樀脩?zhàn)戰(zhàn)兢兢。休息的時(shí)候，我請(qǐng)孩子吃大白兔奶糖，我驚訝地聽(tīng)見(jiàn)，這位媽媽開(kāi)始指導(dǎo)孩子“要先含一含，然后再嚼……”
 
　　孩子真的需要那么多的“照顧”和“愛(ài)”嗎?連吃大白兔奶糖是先舔還是先嚼都要被“指導(dǎo)”……這不是愛(ài)，是束縛!是拴不住丈夫，就拴住孩子!
 
　　當(dāng)時(shí)我就直覺(jué)，她的夫妻關(guān)系出了問(wèn)題。后來(lái)，我逐漸了解到，果然如此：她的丈夫，孩子的爸爸，在外面還有一個(gè)。
 
　　如何保持和諧親密的夫妻關(guān)系呢?
 
　　第一，要盡早把孩子請(qǐng)出你們的愛(ài)床，不能讓孩子霸占丈夫或者妻子的位置。
 
　　給孩子布置一個(gè)屬于他的地盤(pán)———嬰兒床、兒童房，你有多愛(ài)孩子，就給孩子多好的嬰兒床和兒童房。把那里布置得溫馨、充滿(mǎn)愛(ài)意和樂(lè)趣，布置得你一點(diǎn)負(fù)疚感都沒(méi)有。你最應(yīng)該親密的，是你的妻子或你的丈夫。要告訴孩子，爸爸最?lèi)?ài)的人是媽媽?zhuān)瑡寢屪類(lèi)?ài)的人是爸爸，然后爸爸媽媽一起來(lái)愛(ài)你。
 
　　第二，給妻子足夠的浪漫和愛(ài)。
 
　　世界上沒(méi)有一個(gè)女人不喜歡浪漫，不喜歡愛(ài)。嘗試一下工作日的中午來(lái)個(gè)約會(huì)，一起吃個(gè)心儀的午餐;嘗試一下你們倆去看場(chǎng)電影，不是動(dòng)畫(huà)片，不帶孩子;嘗試一下，一起看一本書(shū)，然后共同討論;嘗試一下，發(fā)動(dòng)孩子一起給對(duì)方過(guò)生日，你準(zhǔn)備一個(gè)大禮物，孩子準(zhǔn)備一個(gè)小禮物;嘗試一下，無(wú)論她在職場(chǎng)上如何風(fēng)云，就像對(duì)待清純的鄰家女生那樣愛(ài)護(hù)她，愛(ài)憐她;嘗試一下，把孩子留給老人，你們倆一起去二人旅行一次……
 
　　第三、對(duì)丈夫表達(dá)你的愛(ài)
 
　　女性比男性更愛(ài)說(shuō)話(huà)，不論是什么樣的話(huà)題，女性往往都是交談中的多話(huà)一方。所以不妨換一個(gè)讓丈夫感覺(jué)清凈又不失愛(ài)意的方式。比如在他看電視的時(shí)候做個(gè)按摩，給他捶捶背揉揉肩膀趕走一天的疲勞。不要吝嗇你的愛(ài)撫，他會(huì)在你的撫摸間愛(ài)上這種溫馨的感覺(jué)。
 
　　你看，當(dāng)丈夫和妻子親親蜜密相愛(ài)的時(shí)候，愛(ài)不會(huì)越用越少，反而越來(lái)越多，不但可以滿(mǎn)足自己，還會(huì)溢出很多很多去滋潤(rùn)我們的孩子。

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