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孫儷談育兒：二孩家庭，老大比老二更重要！一番話真的很有道理

出處：@大果小果媽媽日期：2024-06-26 10:48:25編輯：網(wǎng)絡(luò)收集

在二胎家庭中，如何處理兩個孩子之間的關(guān)系是父母面臨的首要問題。尤其是當(dāng)兩個孩子年齡相差不大時，他們可能會為爭奪父母的關(guān)愛而鬧得不可開交。即使二胎年齡稍小，老大不會直接與弟弟妹妹發(fā)生沖突，但也會通過其他方式表達(dá)不滿和嫉妒。

01

有了二胎后的陳小春曾透露，兒子Jasper有一次打電話給他，問什么是jealous（嫉妒）。其實Jasper是通過這種方式來引起父母的注意，因為父母忙著照顧新生兒，忽視了他的感受。

這種情況在很多二胎家庭中都會上演，老大看到父母對二寶那么關(guān)心，心里難免會產(chǎn)生不舒服的情緒。

這樣的情況，在不少二孩家庭里都會上演。那二孩家庭，父母要怎么對待兩個孩子？

關(guān)于這個問題，孫儷談到自己的育兒觀時指出：“二孩家庭，老大比老二更重要！”她的大兒子等等和小女兒小花相處非常和諧，等等經(jīng)常以哥哥的身份保護(hù)妹妹。孫儷的秘訣是“偏心”老大。

在一次訪談節(jié)目中，孫儷提到，當(dāng)?shù)鹊认胍妹玫耐婢呋蛄闶硶r，她會給他，而不是像其他家長那樣叮囑老大不要搶妹妹的東西。后來孫儷發(fā)現(xiàn)，等等只是在試探她，當(dāng)她同意給他妹妹的東西時，他反而不想要了。

02

什么是"退行"行為（心理）

在二胎家庭中，老大的嫉妒和不安可能表現(xiàn)為退行行為。退行行為是著名心理學(xué)家弗洛伊德提出的概念，是一種心理防御機(jī)制。

老大在感受到挫折或焦慮時，可能會表現(xiàn)出比實際年齡更幼稚的行為，比如明明能自己吃飯穿衣，卻突然需要父母的幫助。這是老大通過變得像弟弟妹妹一樣弱小來吸引父母注意，以緩解內(nèi)心的不安。

偏心老大更有助于孩子和諧相處

著名心理學(xué)教授李玫瑾也提出類似觀點：“二胎關(guān)系的重點在老大身上，要引導(dǎo)老大，而不是袒護(hù)老二。”這種“偏心”并不是指事事寵著老大，而是通過提升他們的存在感來平衡家庭關(guān)系。

孫儷通過讓等等決定妹妹的小名、挑選玩具等方式，給了等等更多的存在感和責(zé)任感，促進(jìn)了兄妹之間的和諧相處。

03

父母也可以在生活中，無形地"強(qiáng)調(diào)"老大的責(zé)任

多讓老大幫忙照顧二寶

父母可以在忙碌時，請老大幫忙陪伴弟弟妹妹，而不是直接要求老大承擔(dān)照顧的責(zé)任。這種方式能夠讓老大在不知不覺中參與到照顧弟弟妹妹的活動中，逐漸形成一種責(zé)任感。

每天抽出單獨時間陪伴大寶

雖然二寶剛出生需要更多的照顧，但父母也不能忽視老大。每天抽出一些時間單獨陪伴老大，和他一起玩耍，并表揚他照顧弟弟妹妹的行為。這樣可以讓老大感受到父母對他的重視，并激發(fā)他照顧弟弟妹妹的自豪感和責(zé)任感。

提升老大的存在感

在二胎家庭中，提升老大的存在感是維持家庭和諧的重要方法。父母可以通過一些具體的措施來實現(xiàn)這一點

01

賦予老大決定權(quán)

讓老大在一些事情上有決定權(quán)，比如弟弟妹妹的昵稱、玩具和零食的選擇等。這不僅讓老大感受到被重視，還能培養(yǎng)他的責(zé)任感。

02

參與家庭活動

讓老大參與到家庭的日常活動中，比如幫忙做家務(wù)、帶弟弟妹妹玩耍等。在這個過程中，老大會逐漸學(xué)會照顧弟弟妹妹，并在父母的引導(dǎo)下，培養(yǎng)起對家庭的責(zé)任感。

果媽寄語

處理二胎家庭中兩個孩子的關(guān)系，關(guān)鍵在于平衡好對兩個孩子的關(guān)愛和關(guān)注。通過“偏心”老大，讓他感受到父母的重視，能夠有效緩解老大的嫉妒和不安，促進(jìn)兄弟姐妹之間的和諧相處。

在育兒過程中，父母需要不斷調(diào)整和學(xué)習(xí)，以找到最適合自己家庭的方法。通過給予老大更多的關(guān)注和責(zé)任感，可以幫助他們更好地適應(yīng)有弟弟妹妹的生活，從而實現(xiàn)家庭的和睦與幸福。

互動話題：你家是二孩家庭嗎？是的話平時怎么處理兩個孩子之間的關(guān)系？

聲明：本文圖片來源網(wǎng)絡(luò)，刊載此文是出于傳播知識傳遞信息的目的，如有侵權(quán)，請及時聯(lián)系我們，我們將第一時間處理。

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