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一位中年媽媽的擺爛全過(guò)程：“拋夫棄子”后，全家都變了……

出處：@大果小果媽媽日期：2024-06-25 10:38:40編輯：網(wǎng)絡(luò)收集

似乎，所有人都在問(wèn)，媽媽如何平衡好工作和家庭，仿佛媽媽就是那個(gè)無(wú)所不能的超人，還是鐵打的；

殊不知，媽媽根本不是什么超人，媽媽也會(huì)疲憊，也會(huì)崩潰，也會(huì)無(wú)助。當(dāng)媽媽也需要松綁……

01

崩潰往往就在一瞬間

中年媽媽，人不如狗的日子，我是切實(shí)體會(huì)到了。

早上送孩子到學(xué)校，急匆匆趕地鐵上班，到辦公室剛坐下，電話響了，是孩子班主任打來(lái)的，我心里有點(diǎn)打鼓。

電話接通，班主任一股恨鐵不成鋼的語(yǔ)氣：“東東已經(jīng)連續(xù)三天沒(méi)完成作業(yè)了，你們做家長(zhǎng)的都不上心，我們當(dāng)老師的怎么管也沒(méi)有呀。”

孩子的學(xué)習(xí)我是經(jīng)常耳提面命，誰(shuí)知他還是如此敷衍，我只能先跟老師道歉，說(shuō)回家會(huì)好好管教，多加督促，請(qǐng)老師多費(fèi)心之類。

剛掛電話，想揉下暈乎乎的頭，結(jié)果抬頭就看到主管黑著臉走過(guò)來(lái)：

“怎么數(shù)據(jù)還沒(méi)發(fā)出來(lái)？不知道是上班時(shí)間嗎？打電話不知道下班打？有什么天大的事！”

說(shuō)真的心里很不爽，尤其是被一個(gè)小姑娘這樣斥責(zé)，可為了工作，面子上還要過(guò)得去，只能道歉，解釋說(shuō)家里有點(diǎn)急事。

“有急事不知道提前安排好嗎？不想干了可以走人！大把人擠破頭都想坐你這個(gè)位置！”黑臉主管依然不依不饒。

面對(duì)這樣的威脅，換做以前的我，立馬就會(huì)拍桌子走人，但現(xiàn)在有娃有房貸，不得不忍，像個(gè)孫子一樣，道歉保證以最快速度完成。

此刻，頭依然暈暈的，一邊火急火燎的趕工，另一邊電話又頻繁震動(dòng)，哎是我媽打來(lái)的，接通后我話還沒(méi)出口，那邊就開始嘮叨了一大堆……

老兩口又是因?yàn)殄X的問(wèn)題吵架，沒(méi)辦法我只能打斷她，跟她說(shuō)上班正忙，我晚點(diǎn)再回過(guò)去。說(shuō)了兩三遍才止住了這通電話。

幾件事湊一起，真的是堵得心里慌，老公還發(fā)微信過(guò)來(lái)問(wèn)晚上吃啥？

吃啥？吃西北風(fēng)！

想想早起送娃是我，做飯洗衣也是我，家里的大小事物都是我，下班買菜煮飯還是我……

頭暈疲憊無(wú)人關(guān)心，只知道使喚，氣不打一處來(lái)，真的是夠夠的！

02

別人隨口的一句關(guān)心都能戳中淚點(diǎn)

牛馬一樣，忙到下班的點(diǎn)，同事都走了，我坐在自己的座位上，回想起今天發(fā)生的事，有種喘不上氣的感覺。

拿起手機(jī)發(fā)了一條朋友圈：都把我當(dāng)空氣吧，別來(lái)煩我。

發(fā)出去一兩分鐘，又覺得不妥，害怕父母看到會(huì)亂想，害怕領(lǐng)導(dǎo)看到會(huì)亂猜，哎，刪掉吧。

沒(méi)想到，閨蜜打來(lái)了語(yǔ)音，問(wèn)我是不是遇到啥事了？

我就像一個(gè)蓄滿了水的池子，有人來(lái)給我開了個(gè)口子，心中的委屈和不滿再也憋不住了，把今天遇到的幾樁事，一五一十的說(shuō)給了閨蜜聽。

情緒宣泄出來(lái)，心情也好了很多，在整個(gè)傾訴過(guò)程中，閨蜜不停開導(dǎo)安慰我，心里最柔軟的一部分被戳中，眼淚不爭(zhēng)氣的往下掉。

她說(shuō)的一段話，讓我醍醐灌頂：

“你呀，就是把自己活成了女強(qiáng)人，什么事都往身上攬，強(qiáng)行改變他人命運(yùn)，其實(shí)就是替別人承擔(dān)痛苦，

有些事你管不了，有些事你管了也沒(méi)用，你不放手孩子永遠(yuǎn)長(zhǎng)不大，老公也享受得心安理得，父母也覺得你可以替他們解決所有問(wèn)題，

實(shí)際上呢，你的堅(jiān)強(qiáng)只不過(guò)是磨出來(lái)的，你把脆弱都留給了自己，但有時(shí)候你也該犒勞一下自己啊，減減戲，別把自己逼得太緊，給自己松松綁。”

是啊，結(jié)婚后，自己的人生仿佛就是上了發(fā)條，擰緊轉(zhuǎn)動(dòng)，擰緊轉(zhuǎn)動(dòng)，好像無(wú)一刻可以閑歇下來(lái)，真的好累，心累。

03

擺爛后全家都變了

當(dāng)天晚上，我沒(méi)有向往常一樣，一下班就火急火燎的往家趕，菜市場(chǎng)買菜煮飯兩點(diǎn)一線，而是在樓下挑了個(gè)地點(diǎn)了自己愛吃的菜。

優(yōu)哉游哉的吃完，那種松弛感前所未有。

吃完我也沒(méi)有打包飯菜就回家了，果然，和我想像的一樣，“嗷嗷待哺”的父子倆異口同聲“今晚吃什么呀？”

我告訴他們我已經(jīng)吃過(guò)了，讓他們自便！順便說(shuō)一下，明天和閨蜜有約，早餐也你們自己解決，兒子的作業(yè)你自己看著辦。

兩人面面相覷，可能看出來(lái)我的臉色不好，也不敢多問(wèn)。

第二天一早，我沒(méi)做早餐就出了門，和閨蜜逛街吃喝聊天，途中父子倆給我打電話，我也沒(méi)接，直到晚上九點(diǎn)多我才回家。

原本我以為等待我的又是待洗的碗筷待拖的地，和催不停的作業(yè)，沒(méi)想到開門后，老公說(shuō)給我預(yù)留了飯菜，今天的家務(wù)也都做完了，兒子也拿著作業(yè)跑過(guò)來(lái)“邀功”。

想想以前的我，大事小事操碎心，還被嫌棄嘮叨，如今擺爛了，反而父子倆懂上進(jìn)了，看來(lái)我以前管太多了，導(dǎo)致他們太依賴。

我跟兒子說(shuō)：“以前我總催你作業(yè)，是想讓你讀好書，少吃生活的苦，但現(xiàn)在我不會(huì)一直催你了；

如果你忘了我可以提醒你，但讀書的任務(wù)是你的，你得學(xué)會(huì)對(duì)自己的人生負(fù)責(zé)了。”

睡前老公也說(shuō)我怎么好像變了個(gè)人，怪讓他不習(xí)慣的，我說(shuō)：

我只是想明白了，以前把你們父子倆放在首位，弄得自己很累很壓抑，現(xiàn)在的我想給自己松松綁，把自己放在人生首要的位置上。

從那天以后，我發(fā)現(xiàn)，我心里的負(fù)擔(dān)減輕了，真的輕松了很多，老公對(duì)待家務(wù)也勤快了起來(lái)，孩子在學(xué)習(xí)的態(tài)度上也有了進(jìn)步。

04

中年媽媽不是神，請(qǐng)適當(dāng)給自己松綁

最后，我想和所有曾經(jīng)和我一樣緊繃神經(jīng)的中年媽媽們說(shuō)一聲：

“什么都要面對(duì)，壓力山大不堪重負(fù)，真的容易把自己擊垮，適當(dāng)學(xué)會(huì)擺爛和放手，給自己減減壓，不要啥都大包大攬，親子關(guān)系變好，夫妻矛盾也會(huì)減少。”

希望姐妹們都能明白一個(gè)道理：

是媽媽，也不僅僅是“媽媽”，是妻子，也不僅僅是“妻子”，不要去力求完美，做個(gè)80分的媽媽，60分的妻子就夠了，我們還有自己的世界。

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