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如何理性地愛(ài)孩子，寵愛(ài)和溺愛(ài)的界限在哪里？(2)

出處：媽媽育兒網(wǎng)日期：2016-03-21 19:28:59編輯：xixi

讓孩子相信自己的感受

真正愛(ài)孩子的父母，能夠看到孩子的真正需求。從分辨孩子的每一聲啼哭開(kāi)始，他們就已經(jīng)和孩子形成一種緊密的聯(lián)結(jié)。他們經(jīng)?？梢造o下心來(lái)，分析孩子此時(shí)此刻的感受，而不是想當(dāng)然地替孩子做決定。

他們不害怕自己的孩子經(jīng)歷痛苦、不會(huì)武斷地把困難擋在門外，因?yàn)樗麄冊(cè)敢饣ǜ嗟男乃寂惆楹⒆右黄鸾鉀Q困難，獲得成長(zhǎng)。這樣看來(lái)，真正的愛(ài)，付出的反而更多，溺愛(ài)實(shí)在是最簡(jiǎn)便的愛(ài)！

真正愛(ài)孩子，父母就要經(jīng)常向孩子傳達(dá)這樣一種信息——相信你的感受！這樣，孩子逐漸形成一種自信，使得他們?cè)敢饷撾x父母的庇護(hù)，走向外面的世界。

所以，判斷父母理性之愛(ài)的最終標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，是它能否幫助孩子發(fā)展出一種向外的生長(zhǎng)能力，讓孩子能夠尊重自己的判斷、對(duì)生活保持好奇和熱情，也能夠懂得如何去愛(ài)別人。

父母大膽放手，孩子才會(huì)有責(zé)任心

我們養(yǎng)育孩子，一定要考慮到未來(lái)。我想每個(gè)家長(zhǎng)都希望孩子是一個(gè)有愛(ài)心、負(fù)責(zé)任的人。而有愛(ài)心尤其是有責(zé)任感并非天生，要在孩子從成年人的教導(dǎo)中學(xué)習(xí)而來(lái)。

孩子兩歲之前，家長(zhǎng)幾乎為孩子做所有的事情，怎么愛(ài)都不為過(guò)，這能為他帶來(lái)安全感。 三歲以后，孩子就可以做力所能及的事情了。比如整理自己的床鋪、洗自己的小衣服。上學(xué)以后，讓孩子自己選擇跟什么樣的朋友玩耍，讓他為自己的事情做主，家長(zhǎng)要接受孩子做事時(shí)經(jīng)歷困難和失敗。孩子到了青春期，有力氣和能力了，家長(zhǎng)可以鼓勵(lì)他出去做一些事。

比如，兼職、各種活動(dòng)。孩子只有在經(jīng)歷痛苦和失敗的過(guò)程中才會(huì)適應(yīng)能力越來(lái)越強(qiáng)，也會(huì)為自己的人生負(fù)起責(zé)任來(lái)。家長(zhǎng)在需要幫助的時(shí)候適當(dāng)伸出援助之手，而不是替代他做事。

滿足孩子，是要在心理上給孩子接納、尊重、認(rèn)可和理解，而不是替孩子做事情，剝奪孩子為自己負(fù)責(zé)的權(quán)利。這是一種負(fù)責(zé)的愛(ài)，也是在培養(yǎng)一個(gè)負(fù)責(zé)任的孩子。

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